


fallin' all in you

by adequater



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Based on Love Simon, Fluff, M/M, Pen Pals, Sixth Form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 01:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adequater/pseuds/adequater
Summary: What exactly is the probability of the boy you're in love with over email ending up as someone you're very lowkey crushing on in real life? Technically, the answer is zero, but Minhyung makes it work.





	fallin' all in you

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by love, simon/simon vs the homosapiens agenda. ahhh i love the book and movie so much. you really don't have to have read/watched the movie to be able to understand this story. nor was there even any spoilers here lols!!! no worries hehe. i only used the whole communicating thru email thing as inspo ;;
> 
> also, this is set in sixth form. which is basically 12th grade i guess? i'm not from uk, but my country uses this system, so it's just easier for me? hahaha. you normally take three subjects for sixth form, which is for two years, and there's this one more subject you'll have to take for a year, during the 2 years. it's a compulsory english course, which is how jaemin and mark met through email. aaa.
> 
> have no idea how this is gonna be of any help, but i listened to "shawn mendes essentials" on apple music the whole entirety i wrote this thing, so yeah. recommended. title is also one of his songs. 
> 
> uhhh. mark is aged down here. so he's an 00line. heh. setting is also very ambiguous tbh??????? idk what im doing lols
> 
> warning: unbeta'ed. bad.....................................................cries
> 
> enjoy reading!!

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

mark, 

 

you think i’m utterly bad at english? well, since you just let slip that your first language is english, don’t you think it’s kind of unfair for you to say that my english and grammar are shitty? there, since you accidentally (or not?) revealed some parts of yourself, i just revealed mine. i’m stupidly bad in english, and i don’t speak english as first language. does that narrow the possible candidates you have for my identity? ha-ha. considering this whole thing was supposed to help us in english, it’s bold of you to insult me, mark. insulting, don’t you think? i would’ve added the thinking-with-gay-finger-gun emoji if i could. but since i can’t, i’ll just leave a picture. 

 

[attachment]

 

unapologetically yours, 

nana. 

 

(P.S: Yes, I wrote everything in lowercase just out of spite since you insulted me.)

 

-

 

From:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

To:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

 

Nana, 

 

Wow. So many things to address, I’m a teeny bit overwhelmed. Wow. I just knew that that was a gay emoji. Nice. I’ll use that more often in real life, then. My heart and eyes hurt to read the whole thing in lowercase. You hurt me, Nana. One thing that can mend this broken heart of mine is probably another clue about yourself? It’s interesting to know more about you other than the other personal things we’ve talked about. Don’t you think it’s odd? That we both know each others’ darkest and deepest secrets, but we don’t know any other  _ normal  _ things about each other? Like face. Or real name. Ha-ha. I’m guessing that’s the word for sarcastic laughs now. 

 

Ha-ha. 

 

Yours,

Mark. 

 

(P.S: To convince you further, I’ll just tell you one fact about myself, then. Accidentally. Because I’m smooth like that. Ha-ha. I’m in one of the sports team in the school.)

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark, 

 

Ha-ha. Oh, Mark. Interesting that you’ll use it more often in real life. Hm. Sorry I hurt your eyes, you pretentious douche. I can call you douche without you getting offended, right? I mean, you  _ did  _ insult my English, so that’s fair. I’m sure I didn’t break your heart, but fine. You kind of have your ways in making me feel convinced. To be fair, yeah, kind of odd. Another thing that’s odd is probably the fact that we’re still using these emails. Most of my friends don’t even bother anymore. Hah. Says something about how much I like talking to you, I guess. Ha-ha. Hahaha. Oh, Mark. 

 

Wow. Sports team. A very big wow. I’m impressed already. Just take me out on a date next, I guess. And as for the one fact, I just realised this is a very crucial fact I should tell you. 

 

I’m a boy. 

 

Still yours, I hope, 

Nana. 

 

-

 

Mark stares at the email, gnawing on his bottom lip, a bad habit he has that it sort of gets his lips all chapped and disgusting. Mark isn’t disappointed, per say. Mark really isn’t. No matter how much his demeanour now suggests otherwise. He’s in the locker room of the volleyball team’s side, on one of the long benches, head bent down as he stares at the newest email he just got from Nana. Mark is just kind of surprised? A tiny bit. Okay. A lot. Now that Mark thinks of it, it’s probably because it’s been ingrained in his head that Nana is a girl. His name surely did suggests a girl name, but the more Mark thinks of it, the more stupidly ignorant he sounds in his own head. Mark owes Nana an apology. Mark seriously does. But Mark’s head is kind of all over the place, so Mark can’t exactly type out an incoherent reply when Nana deserves the best. 

 

It’s stupid. 

 

Mark is apologetically stupid. For assuming that Nana is a girl, merely because of his name. Does Mark want Nana to be a girl? Not really. Mark is confident he just accepted Nana is a girl merely because his name suggested that. If Nana’s alias had been a more boyish name, Mark would’ve accepted it with his whole heart, too. Mark would’ve fallen this hard, too. Mark is still attracted to Nana, of course. Why wouldn’t he? A boy, or a girl, this attraction he has, this magnetic desires he feels when talking to Nana won’t ever disappear. Because Mark is unapologetically, sincerely, whipped for someone he knows over email. Even  _ that  _ sounds ridiculous in his own head. 

 

God help him. 

 

Mark startles when he hears a locker door slams shut. Mark looks up from his phone, automatically locking his phone and shoving it in his bag. It’s Donghyuck, unbuttoning his shirt, while looking at Mark with these scrutinising eyebrows. 

 

“Those emails again, Minhyung?” Donghyuck asks knowingly, and Mark smiles shyly, standing up, and shrugging at Donghyuck. Donghyuck shakes his head, seemingly amazed at the meaning behind Mark’s reply. “Wow. Amazing. I stopped emailing with my pen pal after, like, two weeks we got assigned together. Glad to know someone in the team is committed.”

 

“Ha-ha,” Mark says, and Mark colours right after. Is Nana always on his mind to the point that he even uses the email-language they invented? Mark is just being stupid at this point. “Funny, Donghyuck.” 

 

Donghyuck winks at Mark, and gives him finger guns, and locking their arms together. “Come on. Let’s stretch before laps.” 

 

Mark readily follows. Mark already changed before Donghyuck came in, anyways. Before they exit the locker room, they bump into Jaemin. The badminton and volleyball teams share one locker room, divided by one huge locker. Jaemin is on the badminton team. The reason why Mark knows him is merely because Jaemin is ridiculously cute and pretty, and pretty much everyone knows him. He’s quiet, and few interactions Mark had with him had been pleasant, but done out of moment of politeness. Mark smiles at Jaemin, his cheeks bunching up, because it’s impossible to not smile when Jaemin looks like that. Jaemin colours a little, and smiles shyly at Mark. His eyes then drop down to Mark and Donghyuck’s locked arms, and Mark feels this sudden urge to let go of Donghyuck’s arm, and he does. Jaemin only returns his eyes back awkwardly to Mark, before darting to Donghyuck. 

 

“Hey,” Jaemin says. His cheeks are still tinged pink. Donghyuck didn’t ask why Mark had just let go of Donghyuck’s arm, and Mark is glad he didn’t. Mark awkwardly puts both his hands behind his back. Jaemin smiles at Donghyuck, pretty and all. Mark feels his knees weaken. Mark feels odd. “You guys are early.”

 

Donghyuck smirks at Jaemin, nodding proudly. “Of course. We’re the aces, Jaemin. Well, I am. Minhyung is just, y’know--” Mark punches Donghyuck’s chest, and Donghyuck groans. “A joke, Minhyung,  _ god.” _

 

Jaemin laughs demurely, throwing his head back elegantly. He hoists his gym bag higher, and looks at Mark, grinning. “I’m sure Minhyung is a good player.” Jaemin then throws out a peace sign, and moves along to the badminton side of the locker room. 

 

“God, he’s nice,” Donghyuck says out loud, once they step into the gym. “And so handsome? Don’t you think?”

 

Mark just awkwardly coughs. 

 

-

 

From:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

To:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

 

Nana, 

 

Okay. You got me. That was a crucial fact. Not even gonna lie, because our, whatever this is, will not be based on lies. Won’t let that happen, Nana. I thought you were a girl. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I wished you were a girl, okay? It’s only because your name suggested a girl’s name, and I assumed you were a girl. That’s really such a stupid and ignorant reason, and I’m more and more convinced that I’m stupid. I’m stupid. I’m sorry. Names don’t have genders. Gender is fake. It really is. I. Am. Sorry. 

 

Since I’m stupid, I’ll reveal one fact about myself. I’m bisexual. Or pansexual. I’m still deciding on the label, if I’m being honest. Unapologetically bisexual. Or pansexual. Which was what the previous email meant when I say I’ll be using that emoji more often. Ha-ha. Smooth? I am still immensely attracted to you still, and I still kind of think about kissing you. Whoops. Did I just reveal another fact? Fine. There you go. I wanna kiss you. Why am I not embarrassed about it?

 

Still definitely yours, 

Mark. 

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark, 

 

It’s okay. I understand where you’re coming from, really. Nana is a girly name, I know, I know. My fault. Sorry, Mark. And stop calling yourself stupid. Only I can call you that, got it? Hahahaha. Just kidding. I don’t know how to coherently reply to this email, to be honest with you. Because I’m just so distracted with that second paragraph. Paragraph. God, that sounds so stupidly formal, when the content is anything but. Distracting, you. It’s okay, Mark. It’s okay. 

 

Bisexual or pansexual, huh? Well. I’m gay, Mark. Definitely gay. I’m happy you told me. I’m ridiculously happy I’m smiling so hard because you’re so stupid, witty, and cute. There. Called you stupid. But I just said you’re cute, so that’s okay, right? Well, Mark. that’s another fact about myself. Or, two, I guess. Now you know I think you’re cute. Okay, well. Have you told anyone else, Mark? About your sexuality, of course, and not about kissing me. Hah. 

 

Yours, 

Nana. 

 

(P.S: I kind of think about kissing you a lot, too. In the morning, at school, where there is the thought that you’re here, in the same building, and  at night, when it’s dark. If you know what I mean.)

 

-

 

Mark is in a good mood today. He feels ridiculously floaty and happy, and it shows in the way he jumps during volleyball to spike the ball that was coming through their court. His teammates, amazed, claps slowly, attracting the attention of the badminton team to them, which makes Mark stupidly colours pink. Mark immediately thinks of Jaemin, of course, and his eyes immediately meet Jaemin’s. Jaemin is looking at him with his big eyes, but this time they’re sparkly, which makes Mark convinced that Jaemin saw Mark executing that jump, which makes Mark crazily giddy. Mark looks away, cracking a soft smile at Jaemin, which Jaemin returns, before looking away. 

 

Yukhei from his team pats his back encouragingly. “That was a mad jump. Nice, dude.” Mark highfives him. 

 

Mark knows why he’s happy, of course. Nana has kind of been in his mind. Not that he wasn’t before. Because Nana has always been there, consuming his head little by little, but after the email last night, the impact of Nana just became full blown. Mark thinks about Nana, and Mark thinks about what it would be like kissing him, and taking his hand in Mark’s. Mark kind of wants everything, and more. Mark didn’t even reply to yesterday’s email, despite reading it right after it entered Mark’s email. Because if Mark replied at that moment, Mark would’ve desperately begged for Nana to reveal his identity, just so that Mark can kiss him breathless. 

 

Mark gets like that sometimes. So, so, so stupidly, and impulsively brave. Mark needed to get out of his head last night. So right after rereading the email for the ninth time, Mark decided to slam his MacBook shut, and smacks his head right down on his desk, trying hard to hide his smile that was increasingly growing, and his tummy getting more messed up. It’s stupid. Mark is so so stupid. 

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark, 

 

I need to fess up. You might be panicking at that point, but hey, it’s nothing big. I think. I’m getting more and more curious about you everyday, to be honest with you. I’m curious about how you’ll taste like with my mouth on yours, I’m curious about what you look like, I’m curious about who your friends are, I’m just curious. But I’m still scared about meeting you. As crazy as that sounds. 

 

So I looked up your email. 

 

Apparently, it’s a song by DPR live. Nice. I love DPR live. Kinda liking you even more now. Whoops. Another fact revealed. 

 

Yours, 

Nana. 

 

(P.S: Sorry if it’s too much.)

 

-

 

From:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

To:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

 

Nana, 

 

I think it’s some sort of mission for you to make me breathless every time I read your email. Accept it. My heart. Forreal. Hah. No worries, Nana. It’s not too much. In fact. I’m ridiculously flattered. I really am. I reread your email for the thousandth time, and decides from the very beginning that I am very much still attracted to you. Ridiculously, stupidly. God. I think of you all the time, I’m kind of losing my mind little by little. Mission accomplished for you, I guess? Hmph. 

 

To be fair, I am so fucking curious about you, too. Sorry. I really don’t know if you curse or not, honestly, but the f-bomb was necessary to execute how desperate I am to know you. I think about kissing you more than the typical healthy amount, and you consume my mind. In literature, when Sir Jo asked if it’s possible to love someone at first sight. Woops, revealed a fact. But, yeah. Thought of you. Thought about how I’m kind of falling for you even without knowing your face. Hah. Was that too much? Odd how I’m so careful about spilling my feelings, yet I can talk about wanting to kiss you without feeling embarrassed. Odd, odd.

 

We’re so odd. 

 

Yours,

Mark.

 

(P.S: Do you want to maybe tell me your name? I’ll reveal mine, too, of course.)

 

-

 

Nana doesn’t reply to Mark’s email. Mark is a tiny bit surprised, to be honest. Because in Nana’s email, he seemed to be as desperate as Mark was to meet and know each other. But now that Mark outrightly shows and declares that he’s falling for him, he takes three days to reply. It has been three days. Mark doesn’t want to reread his email to Nana, embarrassed at his apparent and desperate messages. Mark would rather die than reread that whole thing all over again. Mark wrote that email out of moment of weakness, out of moment of sudden clarity and epiphany, that he is really so, so, so desperate to meet Nana. 

 

The Nana in person. 

 

Nana in email is ridiculously good at talking and flirting. He’s good at making Mark’s heart race, he’s good at making Mark feel secure and safe. He’s good at making Mark feel like he’s special and needed. He’s good at making Mark want to fall for him, and he’s good at getting Mark to want to kiss him breathless. Mark kind of really want to kiss him breathless. Mark doesn’t know his name, or his face. But Mark does know that he’s so eloquent and classy, and he loves literature, and to make Mark flustered and breathless. 

 

There’s that admittance at the impact Nana has on Mark, but then there’s the question of  _ who  _ is Nana.

 

Mark has no clue. Nana never leaves clues that showed who he is. At least Mark gave out something that was remotely useful. Taking literature, and also in one of the sports team. Nana could’ve really narrowed down those people. But Nana? Mark only knows that Nana thinks about kissing him breathless, too, he  _ also  _ likes DPR live, he’s gay, and he’s a boy. Very useful in Mark’s folder of  _ nana facts  _ with flowers and hearts strewn all over it, but not very useful in detecting who Nana is. 

 

Does Mark have anyone in mind that he  _ wants _ to be Nana? 

 

What an odd question. An odd as fuck question that if Mark answers, Mark would feel so physically and emotionally guilty. It feels like cheating. It’s not like Mark and Nana are in a relationship. They’re not. Or at least they’ve never really declared it out loud. That’s what people in a relationship would do, right? There needs to be mutual agreement from both parties. But even though they’re both not a  _ thing,  _ they’re still something. They’re something, and they both mutually agreed on that. They both mutually agreed that they wanted to kiss each other, so that’s something. It feels weird to be putting a face to Nana. Because whoever Nana is, Mark would accept with his whole heart.

 

But if.  _ If.  _ If Mark has to choose. It has to be Na Jaemin. Of course.

 

But that’s just too good to be true. 

 

-

 

“Hey,” Mark hears, and Mark looks up from his phone, expecting another one of his teammates again, but is met by the sight of Jaemin. Mark’s heart beats slightly faster. Mark puts his face in his bag, and moves his gym bag, so that Jaemin can sit on the bench that occupied it earlier. 

 

“Hello,” Mark says, smiling. It’s hard to not smile when you see Jaemin. “What’s up?” Mark feels so oddly disgusting for wanting to be changing right now, just because he wants for Jaemin to check his body out. God, he’s stupid. But Jaemin’s eyes trail down his calves, and hurriedly back to Mark’s eyes, as if caught, so Mark guesses that’s  _ something.  _

 

“So, there’s my birthday party at my place tonight, so I was wondering if you would wanna come?” He says it so easily. Mark struggles to think of a reply, because he’s  _ seventeen,  _ and needs his parents’ permission to everything. But he can’t exactly say to Jaemin that he needs his  _ parents’  _ permission. That’s fucking embarrassing. But Mark has always had the knack for embarrassing himself, so he says:

 

“Oh, it’s your birthday?” Mark asks. Mark’s surprised he maintained eye contact this long, 

 

“Nah,” Jaemin laughs, and Mark thinks:  _ pretty.  _ “My birthday’s on the 13th. But that’s school night, so that’s no go. So I moved it today.” Jaemin looks sheepish now, averting eye contact. “Or, well, my friends did. They arranged this.” 

 

“Oh, okay.” Mark says. 

 

Jaemin looks down awkwardly, and he stands up abruptly, and reluctantly asks. “So you’ll come?” Mark is just about to reply when Jaemin cuts him off. “You can bring Donghyuck. Or any of your friends.” 

 

“Uh, I’ll have to ask my mum,” Mark blurts out, and right at that moment, Mark can feel regrets and embarrassment melting off his face. It probably shows on his face, too. “Um.” 

 

Jaemin laughs goodnaturedly. “I get you. My mum’s pretty strict, too.” Jaemin walks over to badminton side of the locker room, giving Mark one last smile. “Bye. See you later, I hope.”   
  


Mark can barely even say anything back. His own heart lodged in his throat. Mark feels guilty. 

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark, 

 

Since our, whatever, isn’t going to be based on lies, I’m just going to tell you outright the reason why I haven’t been replying for the past few days. First of all, I’m sorry. I am stupid, I admit. I am a coward. I realised my prior email seemed desperate, and well, I’m embarrassed to even reread it ever, even if you seem to like it (hah). I want to meet you so bad. I really do. I grow more and more curious everyday. But I’m scared. I really am. That you wouldn’t like this Nana in real life. You seem so cool and composed in here, I’m just scared I wouldn’t live up to the expectations.  

 

I’m awkward in real life, Mark. I am. I stutter in front of cute boys, and I get foolishly tongue tied. It happened today. Welp. Today has been kind of interesting. I’m thinking about you, always. 

 

Yours,

Nana. 

 

-

 

From:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

To:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

 

Nana,

 

Wow. I’m writing this in a rush because I need to go somewhere, but I really need to reply to this, too, and I just hope you could see this as soon as possible. God. God. You--God. Why would I be disappointed in the real you? I would accept you all the same, Nana. I fell for this boy over email, what makes you think I wouldn’t fall for you in real life all the same. Please, please, believe in me. But, I’m also sorry, I won’t push if it makes you uncomfortable. 

 

As for cute boys. I relate. But hey, one cute boy that you should be tongue tied around must only be one that is stupid, witty, and cute. Me. I’m talking about me, in case that’s not clear. Shameless, I know, and incoherent, I know. You’ve always been the better writer between us, anyways. 

 

Yours, 

Mark. 

 

-

 

“You’re a volleyball boy, Minhyung, stop acting like this is the first time you’re going to a party,” Donghyuck hisses at Mark as they walk up to the front door of Jaemin’s house. There seems to already be a lot of people. Judging by the thumping of the bass, and the windows from outside being filled with people. There are few people Mark saw from his classes, and he waved at all of them with a grin, and they reciprocate. 

 

Jaemin greets them. Polite, sweet, beautiful Jaemin, who has a nice smile that would warm Mark up. He looks nice, too. Mark can see smudge of eyeliner in his eyes, and Mark wonders if he made someone do it for him, or he did the eyeliner himself. Mark can only stare, though. Because Jaemin is ridiculously pretty and cute, Mark can’t stop staring. 

 

“Hi, Minhyung,” Jaemin says once Donghyuck enters and hollers to the football team. Jaemin leans closer to Mark, whispering slightly in his ears. “I really didn’t expect a lot of people to come, to be honest.” 

 

Mark’s throat feels dry. “You must have a lot of friends.”   
  
Jaemin smiles wistfully. “Not really.” 

 

Jaemin leads him to the bar, where there are some fruit punch, and few alcoholic drinks. Mark stares, not knowing what to do. Jaemin smiles at Mark. “Friends smuggled some. Not literally. They’re all legal. Except me. Thirteenth remember?” Jaemin smiles again, as if embarrassed. “Uh, you can have some fruit punch if you don’t want to drink.” 

 

Mark gets a fruit punch, and Jaemin excuses himself when he hears the doorbell ring. Mark wanders around for the rest of the part, mingling with some of his other mates from Psychology, Literature, and History. Hung out with Donghyuck, and when Donghyuck started copying what other guys from football team did, along with Yukhei, Mark cackles at them. Since it’s a mutual agreement that everyone from the football team are douches, so Mark knows his teammates are being fakes. A cake enters the living room around two hours into the party, and Jaemin’s eyes sparkle so bright, Mark wants to capture the moment. Mark does. Because everyone is recording Jaemin getting sung  _ happy birthday,  _ and Jaemin looks a little tipsy. Jaemin is always so composed, so ridiculously sophisticated and elegant, and it shows in the way his house is. His house is big, with modern interiors, that definitely suggests his parents are rich. Kind of like Nana is. Nana had let slip once from their emails that his parents worked posh jobs. 

 

Jaemin drapes his arms around his friends, which Mark knows are named Renjun and Jeno. He kisses each of them on the cheeks, and Mark feels a boil of jealousy somewhere down his tummy. Is it because he wanted Jaemin to be Nana so bad that he’s feeling this way? God. Fucking God. Just as Mark is about to feel nauseated, Jaemin makes eye contact with Mark, and he smiles his bright smile. It’s definitely directed to Mark. Jaemin moves to Mark after the birthday cake gets moved to the counter so that Jeno can cut it, and Jaemin drapes his arm over Mark now. 

 

“Minhyung,” Jaemin slurs out. Mark doesn’t know if it’s even respectable to be this close. They’ve never really been this close. Nor have they ever talked much. They’re just two school athletes who share a locker room. Jaemin’s lips graze Mark’s ear. “God, you’re cute.”

 

Mark looks around in alarm, and finds that no one truly cares. Mark makes eye contact with Renjun, and Renjun smirks at Mark. “Uh. You’re cute, too, Jaemin.” 

 

Mark doesn’t know if he’s tripping. He really doesn’t. Because Jaemin is so close it’s impossible to miss the words. “If only you were Mark.” 

 

No one knows he’s called Mark. Mark gets called Mark at home by his parents, and that’s that. Unless, well. Wow. It can’t be. It’s really just too good to be true, if it is. It’s too strange. It feels so fucking  coincidental and fate-like. The universe has always been shitty. How can it be so good to grant Mark his crush as Nana? It’s just too fucking good to be true. Maybe someone added something to the fruit punch, which made Mark lose his mind. Maybe. Fuck. 

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark,

 

Hiiiii. I’m drunk and I’m thinking about you. I’m drunk, and my excellent writing is incoherent now. I’m drunk, and I’m thinking about how I would want to kiss you breathless, still. I guess my sober and drunk mind are still the same damn thing. Did I mention my parents are out of town for a business trip? I don’t think I did. But now I’m telling you. 

 

I’m drunk, and the urge to meet you is kind of getting stronger, and stronger. I want to see how you look like, and I want to know how your face looks like if I flirt with you, and I want to know how it would look like if I make a stupid joke. Please. I’m kind of desperate. 

 

Desperately falling for you.

 

Yours,

Nana.

 

(P.S: I embarrassed myself in front of cute boy again. You know, you could be that cute boy.)

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark,

 

Fuck. Fuckkkk. Please ignore the previous email. I’m stupid. I was drunk, and stupid. 

 

Still yours?   
Nana.

 

-

 

From:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

To:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

 

Nana, 

 

Hush. You’re not stupid, nor embarrassing. In fact, I find you so endearingly cute, it pains me. Listen, not to freak you out, but I think I 99.9% know who you are. Please don’t freak out. And please know that if I’m right, I’m so freaking happy it’s you.

 

Yours,

Mark.

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark, 

 

Freaked out. Hahahahaha. I am. I am. But if you’re ‘freaking happy’ it’s me, then, be it. Am I really who you think I am? 

 

Yours,

Nana. 

 

-

 

From:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

To:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

 

Nana,

 

You’re causing the 0.1% to resurface. But, if my own mind from the party serves me right, then, well, maybe I am right. I’ll sign off as someone you know, then. I’ll see you tomorrow. 

 

Yours,

Minhyung. 

 

-

 

From:  [ notjustme138@student.sos.net ](mailto:notjustme@student.sos.net)

To:  [ martiniblue@student.sos.net ](mailto:martiniblue@student.sos.net)

 

Mark,

 

I’m tongue tied. 

 

Yours,

You know who it is. 

 

-

 

Entering school the next day feels fucking strange. Mark feels like a new person. This isn’t even jumping light for volleyball. This is almost like floating. Mark feels like he’s on the clouds, and he’s jumping without fear of falling, because he knows who’s catching will catch well. It’s a weird ass feeling. Mark can’t even meet Jaemin until later during practice. Because they never meet during school hours, and Mark has never passed Jaemin in school.

 

It’s sort of easy to put two and two together, now that Mark thinks about it. It’s Jaemin’s email address, for once.  _ 138\.  _ Mark remembers Jaemin carefully emphasising that his birthday is on the thirteenth. Which is in two days. God. How could Mark be so blind. If Mark isn’t reaching, the abbreviation of his email address also says  _ njm.  _ Na Jaemin. God. Maybe. Who the fuck knows, honestly? Mark is kind of surprised that Jaemin didn’t figure it out earlier, since Mark has been desperately and shamelessly dropping hints ever since the first email. Mark is stupid, and shameless. So? 

 

Mark floats through class, lunch, and eventually practice.

 

Mark has always been the one to arrive early to practice, but now he’s even earlier. When he enters the locker room, Jaemin is there, gnawing on his bottom lip, and fiddling with his fingers, so ridiculously nervous that Mark thinks he looks adorable. Mark can understand why Jaemin is nervous, to be honest. Mark is pretty nervous, too. At the thought of meeting someone he fell in love through emails, and the boy he has had a minor crush on for a while now. It’s weird. That the stars aligned for them to meet-- _ truly  _ meet--like this. 

 

Mark still wants to kiss him breathless. 

 

“Hi,” Mark says into the silence of the locker room. There’s about an hour left until practice starts. They have time. They should have time. Jaemin snaps his head to the entrance of the locker room, and he abruptly stands up as Mark walk over, looking so endearingly nervous. Mark feels nervous, too. Except Mark doesn’t look as adorable, and he definitely hides it a tiny bit better. Maybe it’s because he found out first which makes Mark less nervous. 

 

“Hello,” Jaemin says back to Mark squeakily, and Mark can’t help but giggle. Giggle. He giggles because he is just so, so, so ridiculously endeared. Jaemin looks at Mark in the eyes, eyes determined to not look away, and Mark holds on, because Jaemin is trying so he should, too. Jaemin looks down eventually, too embarrassed, so Mark takes Jaemin’s hands in his. “Are you disappointed that it’s me?”

 

Mark laughs, and caresses Jaemin’s hand with a swipe of his thumb. “Of course not. I like you so much, you know? I thought I was obvious. I really couldn’t stop staring at you, and I thought you were the cutest boy I’ve ever seen.” Jaemin looks up, rolling his eyes at Mark. 

 

“You’re exaggerating.” Jaemin says, and he pushes Mark’s shoulder, making Mark’s other hand fall. Jaemin laughs. “You’re so similar through emails and in real life. How did I not know? I just thought I was seeing what I wanted to see.”

 

Mark’s breath gets caught up in his throat. That means something, doesn’t it? 

 

Mark knocks his shoe lightly against Jaemin’s. Flirtily. “Are  _ you  _ disappointed it’s me?”

 

Jaemin smiles wistfully. “And I thought  _ I  _ was obvious. I can’t stop staring at you, either, you know? It’s distracting sharing courts.” 

 

Mark cracks a smile, and leans closer, trapping Jaemin to the locker.. “Funny how we stare when the other isn’t looking, then.”

 

“Funny,” Jaemin agrees casually, and he takes Mark’s tie, pulling him closer. He seems so  _ Nana.  _ He  _ is  _ Nana. Flirty, and good with words Nana. “Can I kiss you now?” 

 

Mark leans in without even replying. The kiss is soft, tender. Jaemin has let slip once in the emails that he has never kissed anyone before. Mark is starting to think that Jaemin is lying. Jaemin kisses like he has been kissing people for a job. He could probably make a career out of kissing people if he’s this good with this mouth. God, he’s good. But if Jaemin does kiss people for a job, he would’ve been kind of jealous. After all, he did almost get jealous at his own self when Jaemin admitted to getting tongue tied around cute boys. 

 

Hah. 

 

Ha-ha. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! comments and kudos are appreciated ;;
> 
> i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/nctkkum) if you wanna follow me! 
> 
> and i opened up a [curiouscat!!](https://curiouscat.me/adequater) if you wanna ask me questions hehe


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